Bed of Lies(Learning)
by ibolynn
Summary: Songfic to Matchbox 20's Bed of Lies. Duo finally admits that he's been lying to himself...


Bed of Lies(Learning)   
Ibolynn  
  
Disclaimer: 'Bed of Lies' belongs to Matchbox 20, GW belongs to someone else, even though I can dream, can't it? *sad eyes*  
  
Warnings: Angst. 2+1. 1+R. 5+2. Sad. Could be considered depressing. Lime? Lemon?  
  
Timeline: After Endless Waltz.  
  
This one's dedicated to my beta readers, Kalchak and WhiteDeath. Love ya both lots! ^.^  
  
Bed of Lies(Learning)  
  
Duo Maxwell rolled over in the double bed, away from the sweaty body of his partner, Heero Yuy. He silently looked up at the ceiling as he listened to the steady breathing of Heero beside him as he fell into a restful sleep.  
  
No I would not sleep in this bed of lies  
So toss me out and turn in  
  
Duo sighed softly and slipped out of the bed and pulled on his clothes. He took another look at the boy who he had loved ever since he'd met him, the boy who could never love him back. He closed his eyes, holding back the tears as he remembered what happened not moments before.   
  
--Flashback--  
  
Duo whimpered softly as Heero moved over him, his arms wrapped around his lover, his legs holding tight as he moved against the other boy. Heero stiffened, his fingers flexing in Duo's hair. He tosses his head back and cries out another's name as he climaxs into Duo.  
Heero pulls out of Duo a couple of moments later, rolling over and falling asleep, never noticing the pained look in the violet eyes beside him, nor the fact that Duo never reached his own orgasm...  
  
--End flashback--  
  
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes  
I'm marking it down to learning   
I am  
  
Duo shook his head silently and picked up his belongings, and silently slipped from the room. He's never lied to himself. I run, I hide, but I never lie. Right? He snorted to himself. He lied alright. To himself. He was a fool to believe that Heero could ever love him. Not like he loved Heero.  
  
Don't think that I can take another empty moment  
Don't think that I can fake another hollow smile  
  
Duo dropped into an armchair in the living room of the apartment he and Heero had been staying in since the end of the war. He rubbed his eyes, the cheerful mask long gone as tears slowly make their way down the heartshaped face.  
  
It's not enough just to be lonely.  
Don't think that I could take another talk about it  
  
Duo looked out the window before standing and walking towards the desk in the corner. He sat down and started to write a letter to Heero. It took him a good hour to get down everything he felt he needed. Afterwards, he signed it, folded it, and stuck it to the mirror in the bathroom, where Heero was sure to see it in the morning.  
  
Just like me you got needs  
And they're only a whisper away  
And we softly surrender  
To these lives that we've tendered away  
  
After packing the last of his belongings, which were still meager, from his pre-war days, he set his suitcase near the door, and walked over to the vidphone and sat before it. It took a few moments, before he turned it on and dialed a number.  
  
No I would not sleep in this bed of lies  
So toss me out and turn in  
And they'll be no rest for these tired eyes  
I'm marking it down to learning   
I am  
Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over  
Don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong  
Where it's not enough just be sorry  
  
It took a few moments of the phone ringing before someone on the other end finally picked up. A very rumpled looking WuFei appeared on the screen. He was about to snap out something at Duo, but stopped as he noticed the lack of the smirk, or the manic energy usually in the violet eyes.  
"Maxwell? What's wrong?" WuFei asked quietly, growing worried with each second, and not bothering to hide the fact either. He may act like he doesn't care, but Duo was his best friend, and sometimes he wished that there was more. But Duo loved Heero, and there was no room for him.  
  
Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in  
Tried to be more than me  
And I gave 'til it all went away  
And we've only surrendered  
To the worst part of these winters we've made  
  
Duo looked away from the screen for a moment, then back, his large eyes moist with unshed tears as he looked at his best friend. "Can I come stay with you for a little while, 'Fei? I need to lay low for a little while." WuFei's brow arched slightly, and he silently wondered who he was hiding from. "Sure, Duo, no problem. Need me to come pick you up?"  
Duo smiled slightly and shook his head. "Nah, Wu-man. I'll catch a cab and be there in about 45 minutes or so. Leave the door unlocked and I'll crash on the couch, k?" WuFei noted the forcedness of the smile and he nodded. He had no intentions of going back to sleep, not if his best friend needed him. "Thanks, man. See ya!" Duo hurriedly shut off the link, his hand shaking with his emotions, as he quickly stood and headed for the door. He stopped and looked back at the bedroom door.  
  
No I would not sleep in this bed of lies  
So toss me out and turn in  
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes  
I'm marking it down to learning   
I am  
  
Duo smiled sadly once again, before bending down and picking up his case and slipping out the door. As he exited the apartment building, he flagged down a cab and slid inside. He gave the address to the driver, and settled back, watching the building fade away in the darkness.  
  
I am all that I'll ever be  
When you - lay your hands  
Over me  
but don't go weak on me now  
I know that it's weak  
But God help me I need this  
I will not sleep in this bed of lies  
  
Almost an hour later, the door to WuFei's apartment silently openned, as if Duo were afraid to wake WuFei up again. He might as well not have bothered, since his friend was sitting on the couch. He started to pull on the jester's mask, but the sad look in his friend's eyes was Duo's undoing. He slowly crumpled to the floor.  
  
But I would not sleep in this bed of lies  
So toss me out and turn in  
  
Duo felt WuFei's arms close around him, pulling him close as he cried into the chinese boy's shoulder, clinging to him like a lifeline as he finally let go of his bottled up emotions. WuFei pressed his cheek against Duo's hair as he gently stroked Duo's back, his own eyes growing misty with tears of sympathy. He understood how painful unrequited love was. He lived with it every day.  
  
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes  
I'm marking it down to learning   
  
WuFei pulled a blanket from a nearby chair where he had placed supplies for Duo earlier. He leaned back against the couch and held Duo close as he wrapped the warm blanket around them both. He gently stroked his back and hair as his friend cried himself to sleep against his chest.  
  
I'm marking it down to learning   
I am.  
  
--Heero and Duo's apartment, the next morning--  
  
Heero woke up slowly, unlike his wardays and stretched. He turned his head and noticed the empty space beside him and frowned. He listened to see if Duo was in the shower. He slipped from the bed and padded out into the living room to see if the braided baka had started on breakfast. He snorted and frowned. No baka. Fool probably headed to work already.  
Heero looked at his watch and frowned again. It was only a little past 6 am. Duo never got up this early if he could help it, and without Heero's help dragging him out of bed. Sometimes he felt that Duo was just too childish for him and wondered why he stayed with him. His conscience screamed at him in a soft voice, barely audible, Because he's everything you can't be! You need him around, you want him around. You want that zest for life for yourself. Maybe then SHE'D really want you.... Heero shook his head and 'hn'ed.  
  
But I would not sleep in this bed of lies  
So toss me out and turn in  
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes  
I'm marking it down to learning   
  
Heero walked into the bathroom to start his shower and morning ritual. He comes to a stop as he sees the folded piece of paper with his name written in Duo's flowing script taped to the mirror. He began to shake slightly as he reached for the letter and slowly openned it. He sat down on the edge of the tub and quietly started to read.  
  
Heero,  
I'm sorry. I can't continue to live this lie anymore. I thought I could, but tonight was the final straw. After you cried out her name while with me... it hurt so much, Heero. I thought I could make you love me. I lied to myself, telling myself that every time we had sex, it was really making love. Now I know that it was just lies. Lies to myself. You never lied, never said you did love me. I should have known better, but I didn't. Instead, you've always loved her. I wish you luck. I'm sure she loves you just as much as you love her.   
I realize now that you just used me. I don't blame you, Heero. I let you. I let my dreams cling, let me cling to you. But now I can't do that anymore. My heart aches, Heero, my whole body does. I'm so tired of being something I'm not for you, for someone who can never let me in. I wish you luck in your life, Heero. I'm sorry, but from now on, I don't think I want anything to do with you.  
Please don't try to contact me. Don't try to find me. Just... just leave me alone and go on with your life. I'm just a 'distraction' anyways, right? Goodbye, Heero.  
  
Duo Maxwell  
  
Heero let the letter fall from his limp fimgers as he stared across the room at the wall. It was all true. He never loved Duo. He never made a secret of it either. But he never meant to hurt him. He once thought that Duo was his best friend, with his liveliness, and seemingly endless supply of energy, everything Heero himself wasn't. But now it's gone. He hurt the one person he cared for the most, besides Relena. And even Duo knew of his love of her without him saying it.  
Heero slowly lowered his head into his hands, his elbows on his knees as he shook with tears of regret and pain. I'm so sorry, Duo... I'll never forget you, but I will do as you ask... Goodbye my friend.  
  
I'm marking it down to learning.  
I am,  
I'm marking it down to learning.  
  
~~Owari~~  
  
The end, I guess. Who knows. Maybe WuFei can help Duo out, and win the boy as well. :) We'll see. 


End file.
